welp, I feel like I wasted 4 months of my life...

So here's the deal -

Loro and I (and his parents) moved from Puerto Rico to Wisconsin in May of this year. (Mind you, I had just moved from Florida to Wisconsin in February of this year, but that's another story.) Moving and starting over is a challenge in itself but it was to be expected when we got here.

We got here and didn't have a mode of reliable transportation (didn't get one until three months after we got here). When it was time to look for a job, I wanted something easy to get to and that would work around my school schedule. A great and beneficial opportunity opened up and I jumped to start. Everything started off good and had my orientation at the end of May.

Sadly, the good start ended right there. I was put on hold because of paperwork and authorizations. Every time I called the office, the reply I got was "We're still waiting on the authorization. The authorization is still pending." This literally went on for the entire month of June and July. August came and I was starting to get really frustrated. I called just about every other day and got the same reply. Finally, someone told me that the paperwork was filled out incorrectly (not my fault) and had to be resent. I had to wait longer. The whole time I waited, I was told I would get some type of back pay while doing the work even though I hadn't officially started yet.

So I waited the whole month of August and September. There was still no update and the reply was always the same. Until yesterday, I finally got the call that the authorization had been approved and I could come in today at 2pm to get started. I was excited to finally be apart of the working class again.

Then today, I got a call around 11:30 am to not come in because my application had been thrown out because the process took too long. I have to do the 2 hour orientation over and retake the TB test. To top it all off, I would NOT be getting back pay for any work I did in the last four months. -_-

I wanted to flip the fuck out. I wasted four months waiting and waiting like a fool for this to come through and when it finally does, it gets snatched away from me. I could've (should've) went out and got a job at some retail store even though my reasoning for not doing that was it would interfere with schoolwork and for three of the four months I was without reliable transportation.

So now, I have orientation tomorrow and supposed to start on Monday. I promise one thing though, if it doesn't kick in immediately this time. I am not wasting another minute with this company. Trust.

apparently i let my emotions sit for too long

In a message to my sister, i let out all the emotions ive had pent up. Why post those emotions here? So when things are better, I'll look back and realize how far I've come. The challenges I faced. The hurt i felt. 
"im pissed! uber pissed! i built the courage up to ask dad for the money i need for school (since u wouldnt ask for me) and got shot down. i HATE being broke and having to beg for money and still dont get it. i freaking hate it!! and dont u dare say you understand cause u dont! YOU get what YOU want. DAD covers aything YOU need for school and what do i get. SHIT. like i said yesterday FUCK chichi - she wants to build a life with her boyfried, FUCk her. she cant stay here with the family? fuck her! let her suffer! lets rub it in her face how good we have it here. fuck chichi . i swear i hope i win the lottery 1 day (that is if i ever have money to play it) and then who will be rubbing it in? me! cause then i wont have to suffer anymore. fuck family - they only let u down, mom left, dad doesnt give a shit abotut me if im not there so who cares about family. not me anymore. im hurt. and i hate to take it out on u but no one else will listen. bcuz the family doesnt cares about chichi "

mood: enraged