Pizza casserole

So I was watching Lucy Eades on YouTube and she was making pizza casserole. I searched Google for the recipe and found it pretty easy to make. And since my boyfriend loves pizza and I like pasta, it was the best option. I adapted the recipe to our liking and it was a hit for the whole household.

I used:
1 pack Jimmy Dean sausage
1 pack Philadelphia cream cheese
1 box Rigatoni
1/2 jar Ragu pizza saice
12 slices of deli pepperoni
4 cups shredded mozzarella
Diced Purple onions
Diced green pepper
Diced tomato
Garlic powder

1. Put water to boil for pasta and preheat oven to 350.
2. Brown sausage in pan
3. While sausage and water boiling slice up preferred veggies. I don't have an exact amount of veggies to use so for this it's all up to how you like it. Set tomatoes aside.
4. Remove sausage from pan and add veggies. Saute veggies until tender. Cut 4 pepperoni into small pieces.
5. Boil pasta for 8-10 minutes.
6. Drain pasta.
7. Add cream cheese to drained pasta and mix until melted.
8. Add sausage, veggies, pepperoni and tomatoes to pasta mixture.
9. Add pizza sauce to mix.
10. Put completed pasta mix into oven safe pan.
11. Top with preferred amount of mozzarella cheese and 8 slices  of pepperoni.
12. Place dish in oven and cook for 30 minutes.

I don't know what to call this post or whether it should have a title or not. I do know that I'm aching for a baby. I get so sad when I see pregnant women in the stores but yet I torture myself reading or watching pregnancy blogs. I longingly stare at mothers bonding with their children imagining the day where my child smiles up at me because she made me proud. I overhear mothers talking about what daycare their child goes to and how they deal with leaving them. I try to block out voices when mothers are sharing pictures of how cute their baby looked when they were born. I want that to be me. I want to be pregnant. I want to have a baby of my own. My heart is aching as I type this up. I just feel incomplete.

The hard part is knowing that now is not the right time to bring a baby in for us. That's why BF tells me he's not ready. But is it even possible to be 100% ready for a baby? The way I see it the baby will be loved, fed and warm with a roof over her head. Yet I take a step back from the baby talk and force down those pills every night.