I don't know what to call this post or whether it should have a title or not. I do know that I'm aching for a baby. I get so sad when I see pregnant women in the stores but yet I torture myself reading or watching pregnancy blogs. I longingly stare at mothers bonding with their children imagining the day where my child smiles up at me because she made me proud. I overhear mothers talking about what daycare their child goes to and how they deal with leaving them. I try to block out voices when mothers are sharing pictures of how cute their baby looked when they were born. I want that to be me. I want to be pregnant. I want to have a baby of my own. My heart is aching as I type this up. I just feel incomplete.
The hard part is knowing that now is not the right time to bring a baby in for us. That's why BF tells me he's not ready. But is it even possible to be 100% ready for a baby? The way I see it the baby will be loved, fed and warm with a roof over her head. Yet I take a step back from the baby talk and force down those pills every night.
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